4 years gone

Happy anniversary to me, happy anniversary to me, happy anniversary to me... yep, I just looked at the actual date. Not the holiday that is the last Monday of the month, but the number, the special thing that doesn't change regardless of whether it is a Monday or not. 4 years ago today, I was at Ft. Knox, signing my final paperwork to receive my DD 214, my final discharge paperwork from the Army after almost 10 years of Honorable service, 4 years of it in a Active Duty status. It snuck up on me with how busy I've been.

I miss being a Soldier, it was, and still is, a huge part of my identity. But I've learned to deal, although I still through little tantrums just to make sure those who know me don't forget how important my service was to me. They just laugh at me. They know I loved the pride I felt putting on my uniform, because most of them still feel it everyday, too. I'd reenlist back into Active Duty today if I could, but family obligations won't make it possible, not because of the Army, but because of the requirements I'd have to meet, that I don't trust to be able to meet in order to be a good Soldier. If I can't meet the standards I set for myself as a Soldier, then it is not worth it to take that energy and time away from my children. If I can't be the best at at least one of my jobs, then I'll focus on only having one job to be my best at, and my kids will come first.