Funerals

A couple weeks ago, my uncle, typical Finigan family Irishman, died. Given that the wake was right after I got off work, I grabbed my kids and went in my duty uniform - as expected, my family forgave the inproper attire and was happy that I came at all. Since he was Navy at one time, I thought it would be appropriate to attend the funeral the next morning in my Class A uniform. I told my aunt that I would be there in proper uniform, and she was happy about it. The Navy sent a typical three man detail to perform military honors for him, I stood saluting, blah blah blah, no big deal - TAPs has never bothered me, I am used to hearing it on TV and signaling lights out and stuff on post, my mind and heart does not relate that music to family. However, in keeping with traditional Irish family, the bagpipes were played that day. Every family funeral I can remember, when possible, has had one. So of course, it sets me off. I stood outside that church, with my two children, my on brother standing next to them, another brother somewhere behind me with his fiance and my mom, balling my eyes out. And this is over an uncle that I had a lot of anger for over the last few years over his behavior several years ago. I chalked it all up to the music and relating it to family that, no matter what anger I had, I loved and still remember all he did for me before his major screw up (hence the reason I went to the funeral anyhow, instead of claiming work and child obligations).

Today me and a warrent officer from my unit had a funeral detail to perform for a former Soldier. We practiced folding the flag a few times, double checked details with the funeral director, waited for the Catholic mass to finish, when it hit me... that guy walking around in a kilt, that said he was hired to play the bagpipes, was going to play the bagpipes. Took a while for my brain to process it, but once I did, I realized I was in trouble. I immediately asked my WO when he was going to play. She thought he was going to play as they brought the coffin into the vestibule, before we folded the flag. Great. The one insturment that usually sets me off will be played right before everyone will be watching me.

Luckily, he didn't play til afterwards, but that didn't completely save me. I am also a sympathetic cryer. When I do funeral detail, I always make sure I don't look at the family. That was inpossible today. The person recieving the flag was standing right behind the WO, so when she damn near collapsed, it was impossible to not see her. It took a lot to not start crying myself. But I made it through, handed off the flag, and booked (in military fashion, not full tilt run). The WO presented the flag, got to me, we saluted the coffin/flag as they passed us on the way out of the church - while the guy played the bagpipes. The flag passed, I waited 30 seconds - til I saw the WO break attention, spun around - NOT about face, literal spin - and stepped into a room that happened to be right behind us... where I proceeded to completely lose it. Luckily the WO had been doing all she could to hold it together from the time TAPs started playing, so she understood that the music was setting me off, and just told me point blank, its ok.

God, I hate funeral detail - especially on weekends. Now I just want my heels to stop hurting from the dang shoes so that I am not in pain at the parade tomorrow. After suffering pain from Irish tradition, I am going to go enjoy so down home Irish FUN at the St. Patrick's Day Parade - even if my fun won't include getting drunk,